My best advice for anyone visiting Disney World would be two thoughts. The first was how much fun we had with kids 17, 15, 13, and 9 while those around us had fussy little ones in strollers, sunburned infants, and tantrum filled toddlers. I am convinced that many of these parents feel that they are supposed to take the kids that young because these are things for little ones. I disagree. There seemed to be plenty of adults there with no kids. They were still outnumbered, excessively and dangerously by strollers! Those things can be lethal with an exhausted, grumpy parents at the helm. My kids will not only remember this, but we all got to enjoy ourselves.
My second thought- leave Murphy home! Tie him up in the basement or whatever it takes.Note, if your name is Murphy, please do no harm to your relatives. Children, please do not try this at home. And Mrs, Murphy, if you're tired of the old guy, please do not use my advice to stick him in the basement. I am referring to Murphy's Law! When six of us boarded the planes I was unaware of the presence of our traveling companion, Mr. Murphy.
I suspected the sneaky old Mr. Murphy was with us when I took my youngest to the restroom on the plane. I stood outside of the restroom because its spacious size was too overwhelming for me. Besides, that's what good mommies do. A few minutes later a chubby little girl with long stringy hair approached the flight attendant standing next to me. I noticed her grey coloring and knew I had to get D4 out of the restroom quickly. The child looked at the attendant and said, "I feel sick". Two second later she was throwing up down my pant leg and into my shoe. My compassion waned as I wished she'd had a parachute. The flight attendants gathered around her. Where was mom? They oooed and cooed, told her it was alright and tried to make her comfortable. Appropriate, but there I was. As soon as D4 opened the door, I pushed her aside so she wouldn't slip. There was no passage, so we huddled in the doorway of the bathroom. Mom appeared and said things like oh, ah, perhaps even, duh. I reached for paper towels and used enough foaming anti- bacterial soap to account for my ticket price. I smeared it liberally on my pant leg and shoe. I was grossed out! Sorry if I grossed you out.
Move two hours ahead to the airport. I rented a car from Hertz and it was delivered to the curb right in front of me by a friendly employee. It was a spanking new Town and Country mini van with all the bells and whistles, except the GPS that would have saved me from myself over and over during the week. Duh! As I sat behind the driver's seat, I handed the rental packet, needed to get out of the rental lot to my sister. I dug in my wallet for my drivers' license which I also had to present to leave the property with the car. I put the license on a small tray in the console between the two front seats. I watched it slide away, reaching for it just as it slid into the interior of the console. I ran after the employee who'd brought me the car and told him my tale of woe. He was kind and willing to help. An hour or so later, with the total attention of three employees, my license was found. I thanked them over and over. I got back in and went to the "exit" gate. The man asked for my license- got it! He also asked for paperwork. I was concerned when my sister asked, "What paperwork?" I was ready to go home right then and there. Did I tell you that C.S.Farmer had to drive us to my sister's house so my other sister could take us all to the airport(because my beloved truck was dead in my driveway)? After a search for papers, they were eventually found. My sister opened the door, stood up, and they fell out. Now I had to drive in a strange city, in a strange van, with yucky jeans.
Rather than have this post resemble the literary length of War and Peace, I will give you the short on the next two days with the darned Murphy.
- My truck was dead- we had to get to airport.
- Kid threw up on me in plane.
- Lost license. I swear the darned thing moved like it had a life of its own!
- Got big time lost on the way to the hotel.
- Child forgot toothbrush. Front desk said they had everything we could need. Oh- no toothbrushes today. :(
- When we entered the room, floor tiles in the hall weren't even in the spaces they belonged and sharp pieces of grout were all over the place. Company vision test for housekeeping in the future?
- I had to get to Whole Foods because of food allergies- got lost! GPS_ regrets!!!!!!
- Returned to hotel and went to cook- family starved- Teflon pans that were all ripped up. I made dinner in a tiny 1 qt. pot (had to cook four times to feed all)!
- Desperate for a shower by now. I was exhausted, drying hair while sitting on the edge of the master bed. I started itching wildly. I was wheezing within a few minutes. I heard a boom outside an knew we could see Disney's fireworks from the hotel. I ran to the sliding glass doors and threw open the curtain to find gobs of black mold- terribly allergic!
- Some of the kids were already asleep, so we would have the hotel move us in the morning. Sister didn't care about mold, so I slept on the couch. There were no spare blanket and housekeeping would wake the kids, so I piled beach towels on top of me and wheezed myself to sleep
- We were moved to a much cleaner room that I thoroughly inspected before accepting. I wanted to return the pass key/card to the front desk, and found that the room door would not open to let us out. We were locked in the room. I called for help. Maintenance got the door opened and proved that it could be opened again. Very technical, I know, but the thing-a-majiggy got stuck in the whats-it!
- A daughter desperately wanted to help after all I'd been through, so she loaded the dishwasher with all of the dishes we would use. She didn't know not to use liquid dish soap. The maintenance guy didn't even make it to the elevator without seeing me again! "It happens all the time!"
- We proceeded to Sea World. The day was going much better. We went to see a show with seals and really cute guys dressed like pirates. Not that my daughters noticed! :) Yes, dear, there were seals! We save a seat for D1 and my sister while they went for something to eat (they were the only ones without food allergies). A woman proceeded to push her way into the seats and was very hostile when I sweetly explained that we were saving them. I'm no redneck, just an ex-cop, but a few moments of conversation had me expecting her to swing first. I was polite at all times, but she was ferocious. I refused to engage, and she stomped off. If she had swung, I would have been victim and she would have left with the nice officers- I know this game! Two minutes later my two family members returned. I wanted to go away from this crazy place called Orlando!
- Bedtime was welcomed for my weary body. I was still wheezing. I slept in a room with D2 and two twin beds. It was an okay room, but the bed went crunch-really loud whenever I moved. Even a little turn. Getting up for the bathroom probably woke the entire floor of the hotel!
I am pleased to announce that the mold must have taken the life of Mr. Murphy's Law, because the rest of the trip was uneventful! Except for my need for GPS!
A special thanks to the people at Hertz. Your employees are awesome!
*** I was not compensated for this post in anyway when I mention Hertz, but I will gladly complain about poor service and praise that which is good. Go. Hertz!