Sunday, November 20, 2011

Rosie May's Big Secret

"Hi. I'm Rosie May.
"I have a secret, but I'm not telling anyone. No, silly. It's not a beauty secret. <giggle,giggle,snort,snort>
About two weeks ago, the humans thought that I was going to have babies. I was housed with three other sows, and they figured out that two of them weren't pregnant. Those humans are so smart! I lived with Bertha. Think BIG. I also lived with two very nice brown pigs named Pumpkin and Nutmeg. We were all introduced to a boar at the farm we used to live on. Perhaps that was bore. He was a real hog!
"The humans came armed with vegetables. Oh, chard in the pocket. That's a nice look!"

"There were more vegetables in a bucket and a sleeve of crackers. If that was a sleeve, I'd like to eat see the whole shirt. I like crackers."
"They even had a rope. Maybe that was in case they were unsuccessful. Those humans can be so emotional, and quite dramatic! They tried to round me up to walk me to the new pen, where I could be left alone to have my babies. Did I tell you they were smart? I must reconsider. Bertha, Pumpkin, Nutmeg, and I ran this way and that, but I wasn't going anywhere if I could help it."
"Bertha's much older and a tiny bit bigger, so she gave me lots of advice, that served her well over the years. What was that she said? Hmmm? Oh, yes RUN!"
"After a few hours of playing with the humans, we decided to take a dip in the pool."
"Pregnant gals like a nice soak every now and then. By the way, got any more crackers?'

"I got out of the pool and ran around with the humans for a while. They left and came back with fence panels. They gave me my own private fence. It lead to the horse trailer. Well, by now, I was so hungry I could eat a horse. There wasn't a horse in there. I must remember to complain to the management!"

"I'm living up near one of the barns. There's no pool, my friends are partying without me and I'm supposed to have babies. Hmm? I sure am hungry. I need lots of extra food for my babies. Right? Those nice humans fed me and fed me. I'm more shapely than ever. They said it was my monthly time and I wasn't pregnant after all that. I tried to tell them that I used one of those little test thingies. They're really easy, you just tinkle on them. They wanted to know where it was. I had to admit that I ate it, but I'm really pregnant, so I need some more food."
"Don't tell the humans, but I'm faking it. I'll have babies one day, but I think they'll have to get a boy pig. Can I get some more crackers?"





8 comments:

  1. well, i hope that means you get to move back down with your girlfriends and live the good life again for a while!

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  2. Well Miss Rosie May, You look a little spoiled. I think you need to get with the program and have some babies.
    Have you ever heard of bacon? It is what would happen if you lived at my house and decided to go for a walk on your own.
    I think you need to try and act like you have a job to do instead of living a life of ease.
    I don't think I would give you your own swimming pool either.

    I hope you soon get to have a husband and maybe a few babies too.
    Bye for now,
    Kim

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  3. Rosie May, it just might come down to babies or Christmas ham. You have got to produce, girl.
    Too funny.

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  4. Miss Rosie May, don't you know that having babies expands the heart. It would look so cute having all those little piglets around you. Hope that you have babies soon before you get set in your ways. JB

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  5. Too funny! I would have run away,too! So unfair that the other gals got to play in the pool and you didn't. Pregnant gals like the pool, too, though I wouldn't recommend a bikini. :)

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  6. Oh, too funny! By the way is that a hereford hog in the pen too? Our son is interested in raising those instead of crossbreeds.
    And if you are interested in Jacob Sheep, go to jsba.org to see if there is a breeder near you. They are so sweet. We are so glad we got Jacobs!

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