Monday, February 14, 2011

5 Ways to Show Them Your Love

     As a home schooling mother, I've noticed that my children all learn differently. I almost tore my hair out with frustration when the things I taught D1 didn't work with D2. A friend shared a book on styles of learning with me. The light bulb in my brain clicked on. Some days it amazes  me when that happens! I stopped trying to shove D1's learning styles down D2's throat and watched her for a while to discover her own ways of learning. Soon I was teaching her the way that was best for her. The other two could benefit from my frustration with D2 and her time as a learning guinea pig. Sorry, darling. Mom wasn't born knowing these things!

     Love is the same way. We all have different things that truly make us feel loved. Regardless of whether you're talking about children, your parents, or your spouse, we are all different. There is a wonderful book by Gary Chapman, called 'The 5 Love Languages.' Chapman identifies five ways we feel loved.
1. Quality Time- an outing, a date, a vacation, even a walk
2. Words of Affirmation- words of encouragement, words of love, letting someone know you value them
3. Gifts- Do I have to explain this one?
4. Acts of Service- Doing a chore, serving breakfast in bed, keeping everyone quiet so a nap could be taken
5. Physical Touch- a hug, a kiss, a pat on the back, maybe a back rub

     If you're a person who needs others to encourage you and uplift you, no amount of beautifully wrapped presents will suffice. If you, like me, are overwhelmed with all that needs to be done days by day, acts of service will outweigh a dozen roses. You heard it here. I'd rather have my kitchen floor mopped, two loads of laundry done, or the car washed than the roses. It helps that I'm dreadfully allergic to roses! That, says C.S.Farmer, makes me a cheap date!

     We need to be aware of what are loved ones really need to feel loved. If you know what you need, then speak up. Sometimes it's a relief for loved ones to know they don't have to find the perfect gift if you'd be just as happy having help with a chore.
Why buy a green frog when all they want
is a peaceful walk with you!

Happy Valentine's Day!


  1. I'm sooooo with you on this one! (I'd need to be cos I can't imagine hubby arriving with roses!)
    But, yes, to do a nice thing for someone; to speak nice words; to show thoughtfulness.... now that *is* love. x

  2. Agreed! A small thing to us can be a large thing to someone we love.

  3. It's been years since I read that book - it is a very insightful and helpful book. I could probably stand to reread it. Happy Valentines :-)

  4. Nice reminder to slow down and notice the ones we love...

  5. So true and it is so important to understand about that.

  6. Amen! While I will never turn down roses, they are not my favorite (daisies and irises are my fav!), but I love the thought and message they bring. I'm struggling with going to exercise tonight and staying home with my family and making a yummy meal. I think I might just stay home; I can always work out later, but family time is precious!

  7. A back rub would be far more welcome by me than roses, especially on Valentines day!

  8. This is so true! We won't be doing flowers or chocolate today... I'm making a special meal and we're watching a movie together. It's what we enjoy. :)

  9. Moms with you on this one, if only dad knew how to turn the hoover on or the washing machine lol!!! He did cook the tea tonight, and it was mom that brought him a box of chocolates!! Dark ones so she won't eat them lol!!!
    They are a funny couple but I love um.
    Happy Valentine's Day
    Huggs and Kisses George xxx

  10. I totally agree with you on this.

  11. Great message! Hope you and yours had a wonderful Valentine's Day.


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